My favorite time of year, unquestionably, is the summer before the fall semester begins. You can see the hope radiating from students like squiggly lines of heat from summer concrete. That hope allows them to walk into a classroom, dining hall, or campus event knowing that they are making a substantial step into, what many consider, a new chapter in their lives. The emergence of independence, the future, the idea that anything is possible for the next 5 months. Even continuing student bring a their own tussle of excitement. Some are ready to start anew from a lousy last year, others are looking at add notches to their success belts. Being one step closer to graduation, a desire to reinvent themselves, to make a difference, to seek a coveted piece of recognition. There is something in the summer that’s beyond hope. It’s bravery. And I cannot get enough of it.
New students come into my office, flush with excitement, asking if I think they should join a sorority. The keen ones will notice that my sorority letters are displayed in my office in an obviously covert way. Others just want me to tell them which is the best house to join. I usually pose a question in response to their question: what are your looking for? The truth is, if every sorority peeled back the layers of secrecy, they would reveal that they all pretty much the same. In fact, the Panhellenic sororities are required to submit, in advance, the songs they plan to use during recruitment to avoid duplication. Otherwise potential new members would believe the Kellerman’s theme song (see Dirty Dancing) was on a perky little loop.
Social greek-letter organizations were founded by people who dreamt of creating a space for members to adhered to higher standards of behavior, character, academics, achievement, leadership and service. Secrecy is to designed to bond each other in sisterhood/brotherhood. Not to exclude for exclusion’s sake. It is similar to the camaraderie among cops, firemen, and wiseguys on The Sopranos.
The recruitment process can be daunting. Students complain that it is fake, but I liken it to a job interview. A well-decorated, musical job interview, but an interview no less. In an interview, candidates present a polished version of themselves. One that doesn’t curse or say words like “ain’t”. One that wears suits, shined shoes, and covers tattoos. Substance of the organization is presented on a shiny platter and, it seems, shininess is in direct proportion to the good-better-best designation. Which is way I advise students to approach the process. Problem is, how many of us, at the age of 17 and 18, were first lured by substance? At the end of the day, this is an expensive decision. A decision that should be made with the same care as selecting a life partner. Take a moment to determine what qualities aren’t all that important (sorority colors), which ones are flexible (community service projects), and which ones are deal-breakers (number of times the sorority has been on suspension).
COUNCIL: Depending on the campus, you may have the opportunity to select from 1 of 4 councils; National Panhellenic Council, National Pan-hellenic Council, Multicultural Greek Council. Some campuses with large ethnic populations may even have specialized groups, i.e. the Asian Greek Council. The primary differences between the councils appear to be diversity of the members, size of the organization, and the extent to which they are supported by full-time professional staff. This staff does not include the Greek Advisor, who is hired by the university and required to be impartial to all groups. The professional staff typically work at the organization’s headquarters and specialize in the functions of the organization. This staff can provide templates and structures for managing discipline, recruitment, finances, officer training, alumni network, leadership development, scholarships, professional jobs, and even a sorority boutique that sells everything from pillows to jewelry boxes. A portion of the student’s dues goes to pay for the functions of the headquarters staff, which is why dues tend to be higher in some councils. Organizations with less expensive dues may still have professional staff, but that staff may wear many hats at the headquarters or are volunteering their services. Clearly, smaller councils mean that more people do more of the work, but if you’re seeking the opportunity to hold several leadership positions, a smaller council could work for you. At this point, I could reveal which council offers what, but I prefer you to do the research that is specific to your campus. Please note, the councils may hold recruitment at different times, so you will want to do your research before you decide what council to participate in.
SIZE: Bigger is better may not always be better. Some sororities have over 90 members, while others have 4. What size is right for you will depend on the experience you are looking for. I’m not sure it is possible to be best friends with 90 women, but you might find 20 that you relate to very well and that’s OK. If you prefer to be intimate with your entire sorority, then a smaller group may be more appropriate. Make sure you ask questions about the expectations of members in both size organizations. Watch out for cues. If the big group claims to value leadership development but the same woman has been the president for 3 years in a row, that may tell you that the other 89 women may not share her passion. Ask what are the challenges and benefits of being a sorority of that size?
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Every group will present you with photos from the latest community service project, but what kind of service do they do? An organization whose primary service centers around food drives and dance-a-thons may not be a good match for you if you prefer more hands-on, direct service projects.
ACADEMICS: Students are students first, members of a sorority second. You cannot be a member of sorority if you dont’ maintain a minimum grade point average. There is a grade point average set by the university that may match or exceed that of the governing organization. During recruitment, sororities will tout their commitment to academics, but I promise you won’t be meeting the members who are on academic probation. You’re going to meet the ones on the Dean’s List who are active in academically-focused organizations. Do your homework. Universities are required to maintain statical data on their students, including the average grade point average, usually broken down by gender. It may be called different things on different campuses, but a search for “Institutional Research” should get you in the right direction. Arm yourself the average student grade point average in advance. Ask what the organization’s plan is for improving the average if they are below the camps average. If they don’t know of a plan, run.
LEADERSHIP: Don’t be fooled by generalities. If they say “We are SOOOO involved on campus!” ask which ones. Are they only involved in greek organizations and intramural sports? That may tell you how far they’ve branched out into campus. Look for diverse campus involvement. Religious organizations, academic groups, culturally-based, advocacy, political, etc. Universities offer a myriad of involvement opportunities! If you only see photos of your sisters-to-be in cheerleader uniforms, that will reveal something about their leadership priorities.
ALUMNI INVOLVEMENT: Membership in a sorority is intended to be for a lifetime. Shocking as it sounds, you may find members in the sorority who, by their senior years, are just over it. The minute they become alumni, they *poof* out of site. And that happens. You can’t devote a large amount of time to anything and not get sick of it every once in awhile. For every poofer, you have the hanger-oner. The girl that bleeds sorority colors, names her kids Kappa Alpha Alpha, and tattoos the motto on the inside of her lip. And that happens, too. What you want to be aware of is how many women fall between the poofers and the hanger-oners. if there are none, well, you draw your own conclusion. Either way, ask how involvement the alumni members are.
INFORMATION: Websites are a beautiful thing so use them. Look at their photos, read the information. If it is full of typos and photos set to private there may not be anyone minding the store. Use your best judgment. Outside of the rituals, handshakes, and insider squabbles over who stole whose brush, much of what the sorority does should be an open book. Look for inclusion of campus events (other than football games and parties), acknowledgment of successes, and involvement with people outside of the sorority. Beware if all the photos feature the same 4 people, in the same room, in the same clothes.
SISTERHOOD: Everybody loves everybody during recruitment. No one stole anyone else’s boyfriend. No one puked in anyone else’s shoes at the last party. And no one is dragging down the sorority’s grade point average. No one is tired, hot, and ready kill the guy who created the Kellerman’s tune. So it is your job to get to the root of what sister hood means to them. Does it mean we all go blonde and wear Tiffany necklaces to the Gamma Gamma Gamma house? Does it mean that we’ve never had a person of color in any of our composite photos, ever? Does it mean I listen to my members when selecting activities? Does it mean I love you, even when you piss me off? At the end of the day, I recommend you don’t rely on sorority to do all the work of building sisterhood for you. Wherever you end up, you take the initiative to invite people to lunch, to a play, to see a double feature of Flashdance and Dirty Dancing at the campus movie theater. Simply being in a sorority does not guarantee you lifelong friends, you have to cultivate those relationships.
I am a member of a sorority. I was profoundly changed by my membership in my social Greek-letter organization in ways that, I may have found in other organizations, but would not have gotten had I not been a part of something. Greek Life was more than wearing my letters on campus, going to parties, singing songs in unison, and snapping my fingers to show my approval. Those were outward expressions of the things I loved. Much like those who wear cross pendants or Mason pins on their lapels. For me, my membership was about tradition, integrity, and pride. Did I always make right and responsible choices? No. Did everything I do live up to the ideals of my founding sisters? No. Did I at least have the tools to attempt it? Yes.
Good luck.
