Disclaimer(s) June 28, 2008

Apparently, the title of the blog and ABOUT ME sections have been misleading to those expecting to engage in scholarly discussions about racism, education, and possibly, culture and sexism, here. The shock and awe experienced when stumbling across “You’re The One Who Slept With A Fat Guy For Tiger Woods Tickets” and “Jackrabbit: Like Spiderman, Only Scary”, has prompted the addition of the DISCLAIMER(S) page. Because I am a consummate professional who does not wish to alienate anyone that I have never seen (and am not likely to ever meet), I will address any nitpicky pieces of crap concerns as they arise. Thank you and I hope you have a pleasant and wonderful day, you buttmunch.

1.0 Race

As you may have skipped in ABOUT ME, someone I respected and loved in my adolescence pulled me aside to say, “Us coconuts need to stick together!” He later explained that, like us, a coconut was brown on the outside and white on the inside. Although I don’t consider myself “white on the inside”, there was an indescribable comfort in knowing that I was not alone. I wasn’t the only one who’d grown up with mostly white friends. The only one who felt a constant tug between cultures that left me “too white” for this or “too black” for that.

If you are only interested in reading posts related to my experience of race in the 3 states I have resided, your best bet is to read, exclusively, the posts in the RACE STUFF category.

2.0 Education

Again, the ABOUT ME page addresses my intentions to submit posts related to my career and experience in higher education: In the last 8 years I have worked in higher education, I’ve ascertained the foundation of the space between the successful and struggling students is access to, and understanding of, information. Campus communities are rich with pamphlets, brochures, websites, and social networking links that are intended to answer the myriad of questions students, parents, and families pose to a university. Families who have learned to navigate the system pass the information to each other and the knowledge often spreads like branches of a tree. But that may be where it ends. My professional passion is make sure you understand the university so you and your student can successfully tap into the resources the exorbitant tuition fees fund. I will be prompted to post topics based on my frustration with consistent misinformation, but am also happy to answer any questions you’d like to email me at: insidersguidetocollege@gmail.com

If you are only interested in reading posts related to my observations and suggestions related to higher education, please only read the INSIDERS GUIDE TO COLLEGE posts.

2.1 Frequency Of Posts

While I have a passion for educating current and prospective students and their families about higher education, there are a number of strange and unusual things I experience daily. Although I would prefer to devote 100% of my efforts towards this area of the blog, I have discovered that finding creative ways to describe the smell of the homeless man on my bus or scrolling through the thesaurus to find alternative words to “skank” and “assmunch” are far more time consuming. Please be patient as I continue to become a grown-up and realize that not everyone is interested in reading stories about my awkward pre-marital sex life.

3.0 Sex

I had tons of it some experience with it prior to my marriage. I assure you that there is nothing posted that my husband is not already aware of and has teased me about relentlessly. However, if you prefer to avoid such topics, then I suggest you avoid the SEX & DATING OR POSTS MY DAD SHOULDN’T READ categories. (that means you, Dad!)

4.0 Foul Language

My husband served 12 years in the Navy, so I have acquired his personality and now have a mouth like a sailor. Curse words abound in the blog and I’m not entirely sure which posts do not include any. If easily offended by foul language, I suggest reading any of multitude of available mommy blogs. suckers! whose posts do you think I read when I researched blogs?

4.1 Spellcheck Is Not A Reliable Way To Sensor Foul Language

holymotherfuckinshitballs (see?)

5.0 Disclosure

This disclaimer page was added primary for my father who read one posts and chastised me for an hour because he thinks people who put all their personal stuff on the internet are crazy losers. I love you, too, Dad. I’ll be sure to share your thoughts with Jennifer Lancaster, Stephanie Klein, Heather Armstrong, and any other blogger who has managed to turn their “blog crap” into a lucrative career.